There’s A Fifth Sharknado?

The name of the fifth Sharknado movie is Sharknado 5: Global Swarming. Why we need a fifth one is a better question.

 

I get it. Sharknado was a stone-cold classic. All the wrong things, in the wrong movie, at the right time, with the right feel. I heard about the original on Twitter when it was still playing, and caught the ending of the first showing live on TV. It was a phenomenon. But we’ve had four movies now to run the joke into the ground. Celebrities are pouring in (sorry, I mean “celebrities”), working for their increasingly-tired cameos. But it’s not funny anymore. Really, it was never funny in the traditional sense. Ian Ziering and Tara Reid sold the series so convincingly because they took it so seriously in front of the camera. The new additions can’t keep the half-smirk off of their faces.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but Sharknado has to get back to its roots. Fin, a simple man with a simple purpose, battling a force the world will never understand, aided by the woman that used to love him (and will again), April. *Puts on Don LaFontaine voice* One man; one way; one Shark-NAY-doh!

I guess. Or not. Keep making money, Sharknado!

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